it feels like a short pier

So I'm applying to college. Again. So I applied twice in high school, then to transfer out of George Mason, then again to transfer out of Oxy, although I didn't end up going. I think I just needed that UVA acceptance to feel right in the world. So for the fifth time I'm ordering up those SAT scores. Gugh.

But I have to think that I want to learn this better. I want to know how to sew, and I want to think about design, and I want to meet other people who want to think about design and talk about it and I want to be better at this than I am. And if I go to VCU it's cheap as hell. So that's nothing to sneeze at. But I feel silly. I feel absurd, like all of a sudden looking down and realizing that my toes have popped out of my shoes and I've been walking around like a hobo for the last few months. But it's not anyone else's life, it's mine. These are my toes, and I'll put them wherever I want.